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28 Samples Later

by The (John) Candy

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1.
2.
The end is extremely nigh The best we do is in how we try Fend for ourselves, comply Glorification of spy vs spy Spread of disease Six feet apart, society restart Solitude and sadness Shocked by the utter madness Searching for a respite Moments have become so desperate Undead in mentality Opposing ends of neutrality Cartoonish as Carrey I’ll take my Vermouth with Sherry Stabbing attacks as blades retract I’m taken aback I can’t stand or take this anymore Infected, blighted sore I can’t stand or take this anymore Mistakes we’ve answered for I can’t stand or take this anymore We brought this war indoors I can’t stand or take this anymore More viral encores I can’t take this anymore I can’t stand this anymore I can’t take this anymore The end is now twice as nigh On each other we must rely Spread of disease, six feet apart Society restart I can’t stand or take this anymore I can’t stand or take this I can’t take this anymore I can’t take it I can’t stand this anymore I can’t stand it I can’t take this anymore I can’t take it I can’t stand or take this anymore Infected, blighted sore I can’t stand or take this anymore Mistakes we’ve answered for I can’t stand or take this anymore We brought this war indoors I can’t stand or take this anymore I can’t stand or take this anymore
3.
B. B. S. 03:58
One, two, Sixty-Four, Yeah Take me back to the days when I didn’t have to think about anything or anyone Yeah, anyone Permanent sleep sure does sound like a beautiful thing for my miserable eternity I just wanna forget About everything and everyone No more missteps No more days in the sun I just wanna forget About everything and everyone No more missteps I am Becoming I am I am becoming the nothing Permanent sleep sure does sound like a beautiful thing for my miserable eternity Permanent sleep sure does sound like a beautiful thing for my miserable eternity I am Becoming I am I am becoming the nothing
4.
Take a chance and get me invested Take a chance with the guy you detested I love watching losers get bested You let me in your game now call it infested You can’t get any faster than me Warrior of inhuman speed Rookie of the year and I’m free Brand new me You can’t get any faster than me Warrior of inhuman speed Rookie of the year Brand new me Broken bones Shattered stones You can’t get any faster than me Warrior of inhuman speed Rookie of the year and I’m free You can’t get any faster than me Warrior of inhuman speed Rookie of the year Brand new me Broken bones never stopped me Broken bones never stopped me
5.
The size of my knife Pales in comparison to my donger Double zed I’ll take the blade to your knackers Dirty bastards come for me I’ll leave your body floating in bondi cigar And put you in my billy over campfire Shark attacks and fits of rage Killer instinct on the murders stage Even with bull dust in my eyes Aussie avenger Put you in my blender Aussie avenger Tan your hide for my leather Dirty bastards come for me But don’t interrupt my brekkie Shark attacks and fits of rage Killer instinct on the murders stage Even with bull dust in my eyes Aussie avenger Put you in my blender Aussie avenger Tan your hide for my leather Facts find fiction falsely flagging foreign factions for fetid fact Facts find fiction falsely flagging foreign factions Australia Greatest nation on Earth Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Perth Australia Greatest nation on Earth Adelaide, Cairns, Darwin, Canberra “G’day mate” since birth
6.
It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Turbo man doll shall betray Sink in the eyes A tattoo will betray Schwarzeneggergate Terminator’s gaze Ego will inflate Will betray me Will betray me Rally around the Christmas tree You know that TP, it ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree Rally around the COVID tree You know that nineteen, it ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree You know that nineteen, it ain’t… It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree It ain’t free Rally around the COVID tree
7.
Have heart or have a friend Hope you didn’t come to pretend Have heart or have a friend Hope you didn’t come Don’t even come to unbind Divide divide divide You’re not welcome inside One side Armed to the teeth, step aside Combine Divide One side Arms open wide You’re not welcome inside You’re not welcome inside Combine Don’t even come to unbind Divide You’re not welcome inside Combine Divide One side Arms open wide Divided we fall Together we stand Divided we fall Together we stand Divided we fall Divide Combine One side Arms open wide
8.
Shoot me, Happy He’s got the swing He’s got the drive He’s got the balls All violent gentleman on call Skating on thin ice Rinks to the links A gentleman’s game, pay the price Sick jacket, have a drink Sportsmanship’s wink You aren’t invited to the rally Gilmore to modern family Julie Bowen my love Etiquette’s anomaly Where you going with my clubs? My best friend Chubbs Blades of steel - Severed Take your skate - Reptilian With this bottle Stab someone Just stay out of my way You’ll pay Listen to what I say Just stay out of my way You’ll pay Listen to what I say Just stay out of my way You’ll pay I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast It’s a violent gentleman’s day by the bay Are you too good for your home? Go home Are you too good for your home? Go home Are you too good for your home? Go home
9.
Keep your eye on the barrel It’s a smoking Christmas carol Once upon a time an Elf named Ferrell You better watch where you point that thing I wasn’t asking, I know it stings I love the smell of napalm in the morning Reminds me of Spring’s first lasting dew Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay You’ll shoot your eye out! You better watch where you point that thing I wasn’t asking, I know it stings I love the smell of napalm in the morning Reminds me of Spring’s first lasting dew Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay Here comes Santa To ruin your day He arrived last night Motto is – Slay, Sleigh, Slay Slay, Sleigh, Slay, Slay, Sleigh Slay, Sleigh, here comes Santa You’ll shoot your eye out You better watch where you point that thing You’ll shoot your eye out I wasn’t asking, I know it stings Here comes Santa to ruin your day Slay, Sleigh, Slay
10.
Camp Hope 03:19
Our Camp Hope Might of Thor A workout trope Wipe up our floors He’s Tony Perkins Sad Infomercial Upon us kids lurking Highly controversial Once upon a midnight dreary While I pondered, weak and weary Lars came rapping Rapping at my chamber door “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more” Our Camp Hope Might of Thor A workout trope Wipe up our floors He’s Tony Perkins Sad Infomercial Once upon a midnight dreary While I pondered, weak and weary Lars came rapping Rapping at my chamber door “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more”
11.
Party On 03:38
Wayne and Garth are Two of the greatest stars Dana and Mike Sphincter says take a hike We won’t take it Silhouettes and throats slit We won’t take it Galileo, King Grit We won’t take it Bow down and we submit Wayne’s World Party time Excellent Wayne’s World Party time Excellent Tia Carrere Hungry eyes, mascara My Cassandra You don’t have the right to talk to me freely We’d headline all rock concerts ideally Bow down we say, we’re not worthy, no really We’d headline all in all in all we fall You don’t have the right to talk to me freely We’d headline all rock concerts ideally Bow down we say, we’re not worthy, no really We won’t take it Silhouettes and throat slits We won’t take it Galileo, King Grit
12.
Lidless Eye 02:39
Here we go Come with me Take a ride In my dreams Modjeska Basilica A great oak Campfires and creatures Unsolved mysteries LOTR, a triple feature Amalgamation of my history Asleep by fire and fever Dual’s winter witchery Dark demons Goats slit open Descending, deepen, up the slope, then in Stop Stop Stop All I need is you and me You and me You and me You and me
13.
October 31st 03:47
Aliens exist, they hide in your bunk I just wanna go up to my shack and get drunk Weird and pissed off Our unwelcome guest Freddy wants to talk to you His guise, dark skies, his prize The Thing is inside Ten eyes, moonrise, surprise! Jigsaw’s game of sinew and corkscrews Victor, ascent, lament A devil took over, you knew Repent Lie in bed, illuminate nocturne’s beam What happened to the concept of daydreams? Blades of his hands Ushered in bloodstream Freddy wants to talk to you His guise, dark skies, his prize The Thing is inside Ten eyes, moonrise, surprise! Jigsaw’s game of sinew and corkscrews Victor, ascent, lament A devil took over, you knew Repent, repent, repent Failing the blood test Living failures at rest Black sun betwixt east and west Failing the blood test Living failures at rest Living failures at rest

credits

released February 23, 2021

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The (John) Candy California

The (John) Candy has been described as many things...a nostalgia machine, an embarrassment, sample-core, nostalgia-core, and tribute-core.

All music is sampled from other hardcore/metal/djent/metalcore/etc. acts, woven into a nostalgic tapestry of movie quotes, and most recently, pop music of the era. The band has self-produced and released four additional EPs, one single, and two full lengths.
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